A man went to pick up his date but he was having some trouble with his flatulence

system, in other words he couldn't stop farting so when he had to wait for the young

woman to get ready for the date he sat on the lounge and let out just a little fart when

the dog hopped onto the couch with him. He figured that the parents would think it was

the dog. Every time he farted the young girl's parents told the dog to get off the couch

and so the man kept going, finally he let rip and the parents finally told the dog to get

off the couch before the man shit on him!



A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening,

she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks

her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a

deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

 

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Two men are sitting in the doctor's office. The one looks at the other one and says,

"What are you here for?" The man replied "I have a red ring around my pecker, What

are you here for?" The other man said, "I have a green ring around my pecker." The

doctor called the man with the red ring first in his office and examined him. As he was

walking out he told the other guy it was no problem. The doctor called the man in with

the green ring around his pecker and examined him. The doctor says, "Your pecker is

gonna fall off and you are gonna die". The mans says, "What?? You told the man with

the red ring he was ok, but I'm gonna die??" The doctor said, "Yes but there's a lot of

difference lipstick and gangrene!"